And the wittiness just keeps coming


The ten-year-old child, of punctual wit fame, dropped a couple more greats.

After spending hours working on a story for her composition class, she said to me, “Mom, do you know why I don’t have a tail anymore?”

The best response in these situations, I’ve learned, is to not say anything beyond simply, “Why?”“Because I wrote it off.”

There are many things I’d like to write off, too, kid.

Then one for her history-loving father:

The neighbor’s cat sometimes comes to our door for some good behind the ear scratching and maybe the occasional snacking. I grew up with a cat just like this one, so of course I indulge it terribly.


It looks like this one, only with its fuzzy head against my great scratching fingernails.

But when it was finally time for it to go, it didn’t want to. (Can we blame it?) I closed the screen door, but it stood there staring at me longingly (again, can we blame it?) and mewing pitifully.


Just like this. Amazingly it got younger.

“I have nothing more to give you, Kitty,” I said. I tried reasoning with it, but for some unknown reason we had a communications break down.

Then my daughter said, “This cat, like Hitler, cannot be appeased.”

We are so proud.

And because you’re all wondering what became of the cat, my husband finally stepped in. He shut the glass door and the curtain. The cat took the hint. I thanked my husband, once again, for being the heavy.

The next time the cat comes over (probably tonight) we can huddle together in the corner with some milk and sliced turkey and complain about what a meany my husband is. I’m sure the language barrier won’t be a problem.

22 responses »

  1. So has you daughter heard this one, “Hitler only wanted peace. A piece of France, A piece of Poland, A piece of Russia, A piece of …” My mother use to tell me that one.

    As to the cat, I am afraid you’re doomed. Cats know a sucker at 10 miles and will know when your husband’s not home. Trust me, hubby will never see the furry one again. This is a time when you just need to listen to the next generation and surrender to the furry one.

    Take it from the crazy cat guy, you’re just doomed to have a furry friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t think she has heard that one. I’ll have to tell her.
      There are certainly worse fates than being doomed to a furry companion. The owner told us they intend to move in another year or two. 😦 Hopefully it won’t be so far away that the cat can’t still come find me.


  2. I hope your daughter ends up a writer, because she definitely has a way with words! As for the cat, I’d have a hard time closing the door on it too. Good thing we have husbands who share no such difficulties.


    • My daughter is so much like me, (though I have no way to confirm if I was as clever at her age. We’ll just have to assume so. 😉 ) she probably will become a writer.
      I know. It’s good to have tough men around. He did allow me to get the younger children up, though I’d just put them to bed, so they could pet the cat too. He’s still got quite a bit of softy in him.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I forgot to mention that when we were little, there was a squirrel that we gave walnuts to. Mother cracked the nuts for us, but didn’t want us to walk past it (It could have rabies! Or something!), so it learned to cut us off at both the front & back door.

    When asked whether I preferred dogs or cats, I said cats because you could catch them. I was a fairly good cat hunter. Good thing Daddy could give tetanus shots.


  4. Great post!! We had a cat; well, my son did. (Miss Kitty) He loved that feline. But she would disappear for days at a time then come back as if nothing was wrong. We knew she wasn’t being a “lady of the night.” She was fixed. So we began to wonder why she would stay gone for days. Then one day she disappeared never to return. Months passed and we put out flyers and drove the country roads looking for Miss Kitty. Finally we gave up and after six months, we happened to be driving down the road, one mile from our house, when we noticed a family playing with a cat in their yard. My son who was eight at the time yelled out; “It’s Miss Kitty!!” I turned around and pulled in and sure enough, it was Miss Kitty. She walked over to my son and rubbed against him as if nothing had happened. After a long conversation, with her substitute family, we found out that (let me quote my daughter at the time.) She had been working two houses. We also found out why she finally chose their house instead of ours. We fed her canned cat food; they fed her silver tuna. Top that with feline marijuana (catnip) and well….I guess you get the picture. The moral of the story? Make sure you give your cat nip & quality food least she work two houses and dumps you for a finer diner!! lol 😉


  5. Pingback: Wua wua wua wuawhhh (that horn sound after someone tells a particularly bad joke) | parentingisfunny

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