Movie theater etiquette–this guy didn’t have it

Saturday night a friend and I went to the movies. I won’t say which movie it was, but I can tell you that watching it without distraction was an impossible mission.

For one thing, this obnoxious man sat in the seat right next to me. The theater wasn’t that full, and I’m not that cute, even in a darkened room. What happened to the leave-a-seat-between-strangers rule?

On the other side of him was a middle-school aged boy, whom I assume was his son. THREE times during the movie, he asked his son if he was enjoying the movie. If I’d been that kid, I would have said, “Well, I’d like it more if you’d let me watch it!”

Mind you, he turned away from me to speak to his son, yet I could hear him clearly. Why?

Because he spoke at full volume! In a theater!

“Wow! A movie theater! I’ve only heard about these. Isn’t this amazing? Can everyone hear me? You in the front? Great! What about the back row? Yes? Okay!”

Then he would make random comments for everyone to hear, and not even helpful insightful ones. The screen showed a bunch of bank accounts and the amounts each held. The man said, “Money!”

Yeah, thanks buddy. It was hard to see that since the screen is only the size of a sky scraper lying down!

Then there was a, uh, timer, we’ll say (no spoilers to the movie I’ve been so careful not to tell you the title of) that showed… Why don’t I let him tell you, in case you’re a blind person who enjoys movie going: “Three minutes!”

“In case you weren’t sure, that’s a three.”

Oh! I don’t understand what numbers are! Thanks so much for the clarification!

He also found it necessary to crack all ten knuckles no less than FOUR times during the two hour time period.

And at another point he leaned forward, elbows on knees, and began clapping. Not like, cheering for the good guys clapping, just putting his hands together loudly at random, non-rhythmic intervals. On that front I felt even worse for the person sitting in front of him who had to endure loud clapping in her ears.

I also felt bad for my friend because, though she noticed and was also distracted by the random Captain Obvious statements and the clapping, I found myself hitting or grabbing her arm nearly every time he did something else that annoyed me. I’m sorry, but misery loves company, and I needed to hit someone or something!

What else distracted me was contemplating telling him–once the movie was fully over–that he seriously lacked movie theater etiquette. Of course, I’m too much of a wimp to actually say any of the things that I really wanted to say to him, or to say anything at all, for that matter, despite the good my pointing out his faults would be to movie-goers everywhere. It would have been a public service announcement, but I don’t do confrontation. I just griped about him behind his back, of course, and now publicly on-line!

My friend thought perhaps he had some mental incapacity. I can’t believe I find myself actually hoping he does, but I hate to think a normal person is really that clueless or rude.

How about you, readers? Have you ever experienced this at the theater or elsewhere? Or, have you seen any good movies lately? Not giving away what I saw, I hear Mission Impossible was good, depending on whom you’re sitting next to.