It might be time to vacuum your carpet if…

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Cover of "You Might Be a Redneck If"

Cover of You Might Be a Redneck If

Have you all… Pardon me, y’all. Or better yet, yins, heard that Jeff Foxworthy joke: “You might be a redneck if you mow your lawn and find your car”? (Now you have. You’re welcome.)

Well, it might be time to vacuum your carpet if in it you find six bodies, a hatchet, and a piece of pie.

What a twisted tale of murder and mischief this must have been. And by the way, made you look!

What a twisted tale of murder and mischief this must have been. And by the way, made you look!

Or better yet, inspect your carpet carefully before you lose more game pieces.

Note: since the original writing of this post, two girls and three more boys have been located and safely recovered. It’s thick carpet, okay?!

P.S. This picture was taken on my chair, not on the carpet.

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