How to tell if you’re a mom, Part 2

The Pacifier (Photo credit: adwriter)

Writhing and screaming in a hospital room is ultimately your idea of a good time.

You often hit the bottle late at night, but it has nothing to do with alcohol.

Somewhere in your home there is a pail filled with carefully wrapped human waste.

You are morally offended if anyone says something contrary to your beliefs regarding vaccines, breast feeding, or pacifiers.

You are an expert at nursing, but you never wear scrubs.

Your wardrobe includes at least four different sizes for every season of the year.

You do laundry almost as often as you breathe.

You’ve forgotten what it’s like to go to the bathroom by yourself.

Jason Bourne has shelf space next to Bob the Builder.

You turn down social outings because they conflict with nap time.

All you want for your birthday is to sleep in.

You often sleep with more than one person, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

The “Baby” you sleep with isn’t your husband.

You have the best job in the world.