Witness my daughter, Leah. One day I was changing my son Eli’s diaper. My son Eli had a terrible habit. Every time anybody would open his diaper, his hands would immediately proceed down to his, um, well his boy parts. This was especially annoying when he had pooped in his diaper. When it was possible, we would always make sure to have two people to change him. One to hold Eli’s hands and one on the business end.
But that was not always possible.
Once when I was alone with the children, Eli needed a change. I got to work on his diaper and he immediately got to work on his boy parts. In frustration I yelled, “Stop playing with yourself.”
With impeccable timing, my two and a half year old daughter joined in, “It’s not a toy!”
Ari, father of 4, author of Bias Incident: The World’s Most Politically Incorrect Novel.