A friend of mine posted this on facebook:
Can a two-year-old have aspirations to be a medieval executioner? She has a pair of toy pliers and is attempting to remove my toes while insisting that “it no hurt.”
“You be fine, Mommy. It no hurt.” Medieval torture rack (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
[Several minutes later...]
Now she is approaching with a Read the rest of this entry
In October we visited a pumpkin patch that smartly offered a pumpkin coloring sheet. If you colored it and brought it back, you got a discount on admission. Mistaking this sales gimmick as a bona fide coloring contest, my eight-year-old colored a Read the rest of this entry
Here’s a follow-up to the Do NOT drink the tea! story.
This morning my darling, homicidal three-year-old instructed my husband to be a dragon. Fearing what would happen if he didn’t comply, he roared and clawed at the air. She then said, “Here’s some food for you,” and put a Read the rest of this entry
English: A Christmas Tree at Home a.k.a. “The Target.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
My children are practicing “how it’s going to go down tomorrow morning.” Up and down the stairs over and over, to be sure they get their route to the tree as stream-lined as possible. I can hear the oldest say, Read the rest of this entry
If you are still reading, then you can’t say I didn’t warn you. (Forgive me that there will be no pictures to illustrate this post.)
Ever since our youngest started using the potty many moons ago, her bowels have become a family affair. The older sisters love to see her creations, often assigning a shape and/or name. “Look, it’s an ‘L’!” Or “a snake!” Or “a G!” Once it was even called the great euphemism of “moonlight.” Your guess is as good as mine on that one.
But this one really took the … Well, you’ll see. Read the rest of this entry
My daughters are into this vast series of fairy books where the bad guy is Jack Frost. My six-year-old drew me a picture of a few fairies (sounds girly enough, right?) and of Jack Frost. As she’s explaining the picture to me she said, “This fairy is holding a pile of Read the rest of this entry
Pouty (Photo credit: ‘Playingwithbrushes’)
For one thing, our six-year-old takes pouting to a whole new extreme. When we were all out and about and desperately hungry, we hit a drive thru. Evidently, it was not at our daughter’s restaurant of choice. She sat in her seat, silent, but wearing the puffiest lower lip imaginable. Then I actually saw her reach up and feel her lips to be sure they were in a downward position, lest she make some mistake in conveying her feelings on the matter!
But what’s even better was the night my husband tucked her in Read the rest of this entry
they’re willing to send me stories like this!
English: An used toilet paper roll Português: Um rolo acabado de papel higiênico. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) There’s your Portugese lesson for the day. I just can’t get over why someone would take a picture of this. And why would wikipedia want it?
I was in the bathroom taking care of business while my two children milled around on the floor of the bathroom and my bedroom. Upon finishing, I came to the awful realization that not only was I left with an empty roll of TP, but there were no extra rolls in the bathroom either!
The only help I had were a nearly three-year-old and a 10-month-old. Read the rest of this entry
While at work on his birthday, a coworker asked my husband how old he was.
“Forty-seven,” my husband said glibly, choosing an age far enough from the truth so as to be an obvious lie.
“Wow, you look good for your age,” the coworker replied. “You don’t look a day over 40!”
“I was joking,” responded my husband drily. “I’m only Read the rest of this entry