Tag Archives: funny parenting stories

Two signs of needing a change

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Sign number 1–Change needed: sheets

English: flat sheets Deutsch: Bettlaken

English: flat sheets Deutsch: Bettlaken. You just learned a little German there. You’re welcome! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I changed the sheets on our bed. Admittedly, these probably don’t get changed as often as they should. The proof? When my daughter walked into the room, saw the folded sheets ready to put on the bare bed and asked, Read the rest of this entry

The homeschooling gods are smiling upon me

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There are four weeks left of school. With another week of phonics looming, I grabbed the pile of my daughter’s first grade sight words.

Here is the pile: On the left is what we’ve done so far. On the right is what we have left to do.

z 006

As I picked up the smaller stack to look for next week’s words, these were the three words on top of the pile: Read the rest of this entry

I’d be wary of this one

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A friend of mine posted this on facebook:

Can a two-year-old have aspirations to be a medieval executioner? She has a pair of toy pliers and is attempting to remove my toes while insisting that “it no hurt.”

Medieval torture rack

“You be fine, Mommy. It no hurt.” Medieval torture rack (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

[Several minutes later...]

Now she is approaching with a Read the rest of this entry

You lost me at “Goodnight”

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My 18-month-old daughter kept pointing to the full moon in the book Goodnight Moon and then at the crescent-shaped one on the wall that the cow was jumping over. My husband decided to supply her with, “Well, Sweetheart, sometimes the moon is full when the earth is not blocking it from the sun, and the crescent shape comes from when…[yada yada yada...]” When he finished he said, “Do you understand?”

She nodded her head diligently.

Then I said, “Daddy, Read the rest of this entry

Speaking of that MBA child…

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When negotiations don’t work, there’s always this method…

It was time for me to start making dinner. My six-year-old asked what we were having. I told her sausage, potatoes, and corn or carrots. I even let her VOTE on corn or carrots. (She chose corn. Typical.) But then she decided she wasn’t a big fan of sausage and potatoes and asked if there were any other options. I did sort of feel like making tuna casserole since I had plenty of time for cooking, unlike some nights where sausage is the easy last-minute prep meal. So, I told her tuna was an option.

First she said, “Ohh, I don’t like that.”

I reminded her that she and her sisters always eat it up when I make it. Suddenly her eyes brightened as if remembering, so she wrapped her arms around my waist, squeezed me in a big hug, looked up at me with her beautiful green eyes, and said quietly but intensely, Read the rest of this entry

I predict an MBA in her future.

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Conversation between my husband and our six-year-old daughter:

“How can I have darker hair?”

“Well, some people dye it.”

“Can I dye my hair?”

“Maybe when you’re older.”

“Like seven or eight?”

“More like 18.”

“10?” Read the rest of this entry

Do NOT drink the tea!

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We were sitting in the living room chatting while our youngest was playing quietly nearby with a tea set, some stuffed animals, and a few princess dolls.

“Does she always play this nicely?” My husband asked.

 “Sometimes,” I said.
Just then, as if on cue, she laid a toy cat down on its side, reached for a princess and said, “Now it’s time to Read the rest of this entry

The time I ate my kid’s popcorn

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My husband and I were watching a video clip on youtube when our three-year-old daughter pulled out a bag of microwave popcorn from the cupboard and brought it to us. “What a wonderful suggestion,” we thought. So the video was paused, the corn was popped, and my daughter climbed onto my lap with her little purple bowl of popcorn as the video resumed. Adorably, she turned to offer me some. I politely accepted.

That’s when her trouble began. Read the rest of this entry

Three-year-olds, am I right?

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Winter butterfly

[Winter butterfly] This totally looks like a cold, possibly wet butterfly. Or is it really a pear? They’re so much alike!

Today my three-year-old took a pear from the fridge and said, “Oooh, it’s cold like a cold butterfly.”

Then I rinsed it off for her, and she said, “Now it’s wet like a wet, cold butterfly.”

She’s really good with those similes, isn’t she?

But her best comment was when I was helping her get her leggings on. Those suckers can be tough sometimes. She was slowly pushing her leg through. When she was nearly at the end, she said, Read the rest of this entry