Tag Archives: funny parenting stories

You lost me at “Goodnight”

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My 18-month-old daughter kept pointing to the full moon in the book Goodnight Moon and then at the crescent-shaped one on the wall that the cow was jumping over. My husband decided to supply her with, “Well, Sweetheart, sometimes the moon is full when the earth is not blocking it from the sun, and the crescent shape comes from when…[yada yada yada...]” When he finished he said, “Do you understand?”

She nodded her head diligently.

Then I said, “Daddy, Read the rest of this entry

Speaking of that MBA child…

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When negotiations don’t work, there’s always this method…

It was time for me to start making dinner. My six-year-old asked what we were having. I told her sausage, potatoes, and corn or carrots. I even let her VOTE on corn or carrots. (She chose corn. Typical.) But then she decided she wasn’t a big fan of sausage and potatoes and asked if there were any other options. I did sort of feel like making tuna casserole since I had plenty of time for cooking, unlike some nights where sausage is the easy last-minute prep meal. So, I told her tuna was an option.

First she said, “Ohh, I don’t like that.”

I reminded her that she and her sisters always eat it up when I make it. Suddenly her eyes brightened as if remembering, so she wrapped her arms around my waist, squeezed me in a big hug, looked up at me with her beautiful green eyes, and said quietly but intensely, Read the rest of this entry

I predict an MBA in her future.

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Conversation between my husband and our six-year-old daughter:

“How can I have darker hair?”

“Well, some people dye it.”

“Can I dye my hair?”

“Maybe when you’re older.”

“Like seven or eight?”

“More like 18.”

“10?” Read the rest of this entry

Do NOT drink the tea!

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We were sitting in the living room chatting while our youngest was playing quietly nearby with a tea set, some stuffed animals, and a few princess dolls.

“Does she always play this nicely?” My husband asked.

 “Sometimes,” I said.
Just then, as if on cue, she laid a toy cat down on its side, reached for a princess and said, “Now it’s time to Read the rest of this entry

The time I ate my kid’s popcorn

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My husband and I were watching a video clip on youtube when our three-year-old daughter pulled out a bag of microwave popcorn from the cupboard and brought it to us. “What a wonderful suggestion,” we thought. So the video was paused, the corn was popped, and my daughter climbed onto my lap with her little purple bowl of popcorn as the video resumed. Adorably, she turned to offer me some. I politely accepted.

That’s when her trouble began. Read the rest of this entry

Three-year-olds, am I right?

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Winter butterfly

[Winter butterfly] This totally looks like a cold, possibly wet butterfly. Or is it really a pear? They’re so much alike!

Today my three-year-old took a pear from the fridge and said, “Oooh, it’s cold like a cold butterfly.”

Then I rinsed it off for her, and she said, “Now it’s wet like a wet, cold butterfly.”

She’s really good with those similes, isn’t she?

But her best comment was when I was helping her get her leggings on. Those suckers can be tough sometimes. She was slowly pushing her leg through. When she was nearly at the end, she said, Read the rest of this entry

This is a story about poop

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If you are still reading, then you can’t say I didn’t warn you. (Forgive me that there will be no pictures to illustrate this post.)

Ever since our youngest started using the potty many moons ago, her bowels have become a family affair. The older sisters love to see her creations, often assigning a shape and/or name. “Look, it’s an ‘L’!” Or “a snake!” Or “a G!” Once it was even called the great euphemism of “moonlight.” Your guess is as good as mine on that one.

But this one really took the … Well, you’ll see. Read the rest of this entry

This one’s going to be trouble

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Pouty

Pouty (Photo credit: ‘Playingwithbrushes’)

For one thing, our six-year-old takes pouting to a whole new extreme. When we were all out and about and desperately hungry, we hit a drive thru. Evidently, it was not at our daughter’s restaurant of choice. She sat in her seat, silent, but wearing the puffiest lower lip imaginable. Then I actually saw her reach up and feel her lips to be sure they were in a downward position, lest she make some mistake in conveying her feelings on the matter!

But what’s even better was the night my husband tucked her in Read the rest of this entry

Who wears the apron in the family–Husband Stories, part 1

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Nearing dinner time, my husband walked into the bedroom and discovered me wrapped in a blanket, with a book in my hands. He prudently announced that he would make dinner.

Out in the kitchen, our eight-year-old asked him, “What’s for dinner?”

He said, “Sausage.”

“How do you know? Did mom tell you?” Read the rest of this entry