My three-year-old asked me, “Where do penguins live?”
“In Antarctica,” I told her.
“What about polar bears?”
“Near the North Pole.”
Then, triumphant in her knowledge, she exclaimed,
Read the rest of this entry
One of my students lent me a book. “I’ll bring it back to you on Monday,” I told her. She replied in a semi-condescending tone, “Ummm, no, Mrs. P., you won’t be able to finish it by then. Not with all YOUR homework!”
Assisting a student with a question on her science test, I read, “Which of the following three things would make a good conductor of electricity?”
“Can you give me a hint?” she asked.
“Sorry, Sweetie, I can’t give any hints. I can only read the question.”
“Well, the only conductors I know of are Read the rest of this entry
Special thanks to contributor Lena for these stories!
Injections are one of many ways to administer psychiatric medication. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) That’s the actual caption that came with the picture!
1) One girl found a play doctor’s kit and started to give me “shots” with the play syringe. The other kids soon joined in, and I was being repeatedly beaten with plastic syringes. Finally, one of our boys threw his hands in the air and cried “Stop! In the name of Love!” The other kids immediately stopped. Then he came over to me and put his arm around me, saying, “I am very sorry for the inconvenience.” Read the rest of this entry
Come on! I know you’re hungry! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
While watching a nature video, my two-year-old daughter began offering a goldfish cracker to a hunting dolphin and was very annoyed at getting no response.
“Num num! NUM NUM!!!”
~Sara, mother of 3
Me: Why are you mad at him?
Six-year-old boy: Because he hit me in the BACK!
Three-year-old boy: No! I did NOT hit him in the back!!
Me: Then why did he say you did?
Three-year-old: (very calmly and reasonably) Read the rest of this entry
My mom sent these to me in an email. This isn’t my normal fair for this blog, especially because we have no way of knowing if these stories are true (they probably aren’t), but, I have to admit, they are funny. I hope you think so, too.
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a lecture on the devil. One said to the other, ‘What do you think about all this Satan stuff?’
The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It’s probably just your Dad.’
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, ‘Why is the bride dressed in white?’
The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’
The child thought about this for a moment then said, ‘So why is Read the rest of this entry
This is what my view will be like in Heaven.
When my daughter was about two, she went to the freezer and took out the 1/2 gallon container of ice cream and put it on the counter. Too tired to deal with the situation properly, I simply asked, “Would you like a bowl?” She responded, Read the rest of this entry
I’ve never heard of this show, but it looks like it would be funny. (Assuming it’s a show?)
Here’s a mishmash of some great lines from children:
“Wooo! It’s stinky in here!” -Lucy, four-years-old, after pooping on the potty.
Also Lucy: “My lips are wiggly.” Me: “Why are they wiggly?” L: “Because they’re sticking out.” Me: “Why are they sticking out?” L: “Because they’re getting old.” Overhearing too many of her parents’ conversations, perhaps?
I gave each of my three girls, ages six, four, and 19 months, a little hot chocolate. The oldest said, “It doesn’t taste very good to me, but the kids like it.” Read the rest of this entry
While sitting with some other moms at my son’s baptism reception, one of them alerted me to the fact that the kids were playing with a doll–a gender specific doll. A group of little girls were giggling while watching my seven-year-old daughter make her male doll Read the rest of this entry