Tag Archives: funny kid quotes

Misc. funny lines

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Speaking to his toys: “Hi. I’m Daniel. I’m going to keep you safe from Katherine. She is a big giant.” (In case you haven’t guessed it, Katherine is his big sister.) -posted by a friend on Facebook

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Something you never expect to hear from an adorable little blonde girl: “Mom! Come see my poop! It’s enormous!”

Yes, I did go see it. And she was correct. Read the rest of this entry

A funny thing happened on our way to Buffalo

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A few weeks ago we were visiting friends at their home near Buffalo, NY. There were some good lines worth sharing during those two days.

For instance, Jay, father of 5, askedĀ  his daughter, “Are you ready for dessert?” She responded by patting her lower stomach and saying, “I have room in my basement.”

I’ve gotta remember that line.

My nine-year-old daughter was helping Jay cook scrambled eggs one morning. “Do you like cooking?” he asked her. “Yes. I have to learn how so I can move out of the house.” Suddenly startled by her own words, she added, Read the rest of this entry

Notable quotes

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I told my three-year-old to wait a while before I put sour cream on her cheese quesadilla because the sour cream would melt if I put it on right away. A minute later, still waiting on her mother to give her sour cream, she complained, Read the rest of this entry

Animal Geography

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My three-year-old asked me, “Where do penguins live?”

 

 

 

“In Antarctica,” I told her.

 

 

 

“What about polar bears?”

 

 

 

“Near the North Pole.”

 

 

 

“Giraffes?”

 

 

 

“Africa.”

 

 

 

“Toucans?”

 

 

 

“South America.”

 

 

 

Then, triumphant in her knowledge, she exclaimed,

 

 

 

Read the rest of this entry

As heard in a fourth grade classroom

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One of my students lent me a book. “I’ll bring it back to you on Monday,” I told her. She replied in a semi-condescending tone, “Ummm, no, Mrs. P., you won’t be able to finish it by then. Not with all YOUR homework!”

Assisting a student with a question on her science test, I read, “Which of the following three things would make a good conductor of electricity?”
“Can you give me a hint?” she asked.
“Sorry, Sweetie, I can’t give any hints. I can only read the question.”
“Well, the only conductors I know of are Read the rest of this entry

Stories from a Sunday School teacher

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Special thanks to contributor Lena for these stories!

Injections are one of many ways to administer ...

Injections are one of many ways to administer psychiatric medication. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) That’s the actual caption that came with the picture!

1) One girl found a play doctor’s kit and started to give me “shots” with the play syringe. The other kids soon joined in, and I was being repeatedly beaten with plastic syringes. Finally, one of our boys threw his hands in the air and cried “Stop! In the name of Love!” The other kids immediately stopped. Then he came over to me and put his arm around me, saying, “I am very sorry for the inconvenience.” Read the rest of this entry

Fabulous quotes from my friends’ children

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- Tursiops truncatus A dolphin surfs the wake ...

Come on! I know you’re hungry! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While watching a nature video, my two-year-old daughter began offering a goldfish cracker to a hunting dolphin and was very annoyed at getting no response.

“Num num! NUM NUM!!!”

Still nothing.

~Sara, mother of 3

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Me: Why are you mad at him?
Six-year-old boy: Because he hit me in the BACK!
Three-year-old boy: No! I did NOT hit him in the back!!
Me: Then why did he say you did?
Three-year-old: (very calmly and reasonably) Read the rest of this entry