I told my three-year-old to wait a while before I put sour cream on her cheese quesadilla because the sour cream would melt if I put it on right away. A minute later, still waiting on her mother to give her sour cream, she complained, Read the rest of this entry
My three-year-old asked me, “Where do penguins live?”
“In Antarctica,” I told her.
“What about polar bears?”
“Near the North Pole.”
Then, triumphant in her knowledge, she exclaimed,
One of my students lent me a book. “I’ll bring it back to you on Monday,” I told her. She replied in a semi-condescending tone, “Ummm, no, Mrs. P., you won’t be able to finish it by then. Not with all YOUR homework!”
Assisting a student with a question on her science test, I read, “Which of the following three things would make a good conductor of electricity?”
“Can you give me a hint?” she asked.
“Sorry, Sweetie, I can’t give any hints. I can only read the question.”
“Well, the only conductors I know of are Read the rest of this entry
Special thanks to contributor Lena for these stories!
1) One girl found a play doctor’s kit and started to give me “shots” with the play syringe. The other kids soon joined in, and I was being repeatedly beaten with plastic syringes. Finally, one of our boys threw his hands in the air and cried “Stop! In the name of Love!” The other kids immediately stopped. Then he came over to me and put his arm around me, saying, “I am very sorry for the inconvenience.” Read the rest of this entry
While watching a nature video, my two-year-old daughter began offering a goldfish cracker to a hunting dolphin and was very annoyed at getting no response.
“Num num! NUM NUM!!!”
~Sara, mother of 3
Me: Why are you mad at him?
Six-year-old boy: Because he hit me in the BACK!
Three-year-old boy: No! I did NOT hit him in the back!!
Me: Then why did he say you did?
Three-year-old: (very calmly and reasonably) Read the rest of this entry
One of my students enlisted me one recess to be her “scribe.” “Sit down, and write what I say.” I pretended to pull out a scroll, as the girl gazed off in the distance, pondering the correct wording for the message to her mother. Obviously having been enlightened, she turned to me, pointed a finger at the pretend scroll, motioning for me to write, and said, “Dear Mother,” she began, Read the rest of this entry
My mom sent these to me in an email. This isn’t my normal fair for this blog, especially because we have no way of knowing if these stories are true (they probably aren’t), but, I have to admit, they are funny. I hope you think so, too.
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a lecture on the devil. One said to the other, ‘What do you think about all this Satan stuff?’
The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It’s probably just your Dad.’
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, ‘Why is the bride dressed in white?’
The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’
The child thought about this for a moment then said, ‘So why is Read the rest of this entry
When my daughter was about two, she went to the freezer and took out the 1/2 gallon container of ice cream and put it on the counter. Too tired to deal with the situation properly, I simply asked, “Would you like a bowl?” She responded, Read the rest of this entry
Here’s a mishmash of some great lines from children:
“Wooo! It’s stinky in here!” -Lucy, four-years-old, after pooping on the potty.
Also Lucy: “My lips are wiggly.” Me: “Why are they wiggly?” L: “Because they’re sticking out.” Me: “Why are they sticking out?” L: “Because they’re getting old.” Overhearing too many of her parents’ conversations, perhaps?
I gave each of my three girls, ages six, four, and 19 months, a little hot chocolate. The oldest said, “It doesn’t taste very good to me, but the kids like it.” Read the rest of this entry