Category Archives: Uncategorized

Today I did my part to save the world

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There was a bee on the window screen. Naturally, I wanted it to stay on the screen and to not fly around the house. Seeing it, my children would no doubt freak out and start climbing up the chimney to get away. So I did what any sensible woman would do in this situation: I quickly shut the window and went about my business. I figured I could just “wait the bee out.”

That only lasted a few seconds, actually. I took two steps and then looked back at it pitifully buzzing, silently now, and banging itself first against the screen, then the glass, and back again, over and over. “Poor thing!” I thought, though still unrepentant.

Then I remembered that bees have been in short supply in recent years. [Silent buzz. Bang. Bash. Buzz.] I stood there watching it.

Then I remembered how bees enable flowers to reproduce and fruit to grow. [More quiet, impotent buzzing. More frustrated banging.] Read the rest of this entry

Don’t stare at women’s shirts

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Undoubtedly you’re thinking this was an admonition I needed to give a child, particularly a male child. Shamefully, it was not. Instead it was a note to self.

We were at church, it was time for the sign of peace, I turned around to be neighborly to the people behind me, and found myself staring at a woman’s shirt while vaguely shaking her hand in my periphery and mumbling, “Peace be with you.” It wasn’t that she was super tall or overly large, and therefore I could see nothing but shirt, it was just that her shirt was such a lovely shade of blue in an appealing pattern that I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

Then I turned back around thinking nothing more of it. Suddenly I realized Read the rest of this entry

The homeschooling gods are smiling upon me

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There are four weeks left of school. With another week of phonics looming, I grabbed the pile of my daughter’s first grade sight words.

Here is the pile: On the left is what we’ve done so far. On the right is what we have left to do.

z 006

As I picked up the smaller stack to look for next week’s words, these were the three words on top of the pile: Read the rest of this entry

Reasons I love my girls

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As many of you know, I have three daughters. They’re pretty cool most of the time. Yesterday at a party, when my middle daughter was handed an ice cream sandwich, she first passed it along to her younger sister, and then waited to receive one for herself. That’s one example. Here are a few more: Read the rest of this entry

This is what irony looks like

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This is what irony looks like

The other night I had a dream that I was being attacked by a crow.

The crow was a known serial killer.

And now it was after me.

English: Carrion Crow (Corvus corone) Apart fr...

Exhibit A: Totally a serial killer (Photo credit: Wikipedia Serial Killer File)

Fortunately I utilized my kung fu hand training (because what good kung fu requires you to leave your chair?) and caught the crow with my bare hands. I won’t go into the details of the various ways I tried to subdue this Rasputin crow that wouldn’t die. Members of P.E.T.A. might be reading. One method involved my moving car and the right front tire, but I’m revealing too much!

Anyhow, once the bird was finally dispatched, all its friends and relatives in the tri-state area came after me for revenge, all Hitchcock-like, OF COURSE!

civic center inn

Exhibit B. They’re coming for me. (Photo credit: nahlinse–Swedish for “killer crow file”)

At that point there was nothing for it but to scare myself awake. I do appreciate when that happens, actually. However, once I’m awake in the middle of the night I inevitably discover that I need to go to the bathroom and that, indeed, I will not be able to fall back asleep until I do. So I spent a quarter of an hour lying there trying to psych myself into getting out of the relative safety of my blankets (any child will tell you that you’re safe in your bed so long as you’re under your blankets–even from serial killer birds) and walk the several feet to the bathroom without a murder of crows (that is, appropriately, what they are called) flocking out from under my bed. Read the rest of this entry

The barter system is alive and well

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Here’s a quick little something that made me smile. I hope it will for you as well.

As the truly faithful blog follower of mine knows (all two of you), my parents visited recently. Since everyone in my family, including my grandparents, loves to cook except me, (how’d that happen?) I was totally keen to let my ‘rents take over the kitchen during their nearly two-week stay.

When they continued their journey onward from our house, and we all breathed a deep sigh of relief (kidding!), my parents left some excess produce, that I, with my lack of real culinary knowledge or interest, knew I wouldn’t end up using.

This is when I texted a friend of mine who is one of those crazy fools who loves cooking and eats healthy ALL THE TIME. (Darn that celiac disease!) I offered her a bag of onions and some jicama. She was able to come at a time when I knew I would be out of the house, so I left the bag at the front door for her.
When I got home later and entered the house through the garage, I walked around to the front door to be sure she had stopped by and gotten the goods. When I opened the door, I saw this: Read the rest of this entry

MY grandparents, on the other hand, were just too cute

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When my parents were visiting, they told me this story about my dad’s parents. I already knew that my paternal grandparents loved cooking. I think I have a picture I took in my childhood of them in the kitchen working on a meal together. Since they lived across the country from us and died when I was a teenager, I didn’t get to visit them very often, but somehow I still knew that their times in the kitchen together were the highlight of their days. In fact, they would even take pictures of their finished products on occasion.

So, it was easy for me to form a picture in my mind as my dad shared this story:

Read the rest of this entry