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This is what irony looks like

This is what irony looks like

The other night I had a dream that I was being attacked by a crow.

The crow was a known serial killer.

And now it was after me.

English: Carrion Crow (Corvus corone) Apart fr...

Exhibit A: Totally a serial killer (Photo credit: Wikipedia Serial Killer File)

Fortunately I utilized my kung fu hand training (because what good kung fu requires you to leave your chair?) and caught the crow with my bare hands. I won’t go into the details of the various ways I tried to subdue this Rasputin crow that wouldn’t die. Members of P.E.T.A. might be reading. One method involved my moving car and the right front tire, but I’m revealing too much!

Anyhow, once the bird was finally dispatched, all its friends and relatives in the tri-state area came after me for revenge, all Hitchcock-like, OF COURSE!

civic center inn

Exhibit B. They’re coming for me. (Photo credit: nahlinse–Swedish for “killer crow file”)

At that point there was nothing for it but to scare myself awake. I do appreciate when that happens, actually. However, once I’m awake in the middle of the night I inevitably discover that I need to go to the bathroom and that, indeed, I will not be able to fall back asleep until I do. So I spent a quarter of an hour lying there trying to psych myself into getting out of the relative safety of my blankets (any child will tell you that you’re safe in your bed so long as you’re under your blankets–even from serial killer birds) and walk the several feet to the bathroom without a murder of crows (that is, appropriately, what they are called) flocking out from under my bed. Read the rest of this entry

The barter system is alive and well


Here’s a quick little something that made me smile. I hope it will for you as well.

As the truly faithful blog follower of mine knows (all two of you), my parents visited recently. Since everyone in my family, including my grandparents, loves to cook except me, (how’d that happen?) I was totally keen to let my ‘rents take over the kitchen during their nearly two-week stay.

When they continued their journey onward from our house, and we all breathed a deep sigh of relief (kidding!), my parents left some excess produce, that I, with my lack of real culinary knowledge or interest, knew I wouldn’t end up using.

This is when I texted a friend of mine who is one of those crazy fools who loves cooking and eats healthy ALL THE TIME. (Darn that celiac disease!) I offered her a bag of onions and some jicama. She was able to come at a time when I knew I would be out of the house, so I left the bag at the front door for her.
When I got home later and entered the house through the garage, I walked around to the front door to be sure she had stopped by and gotten the goods. When I opened the door, I saw this: Read the rest of this entry

MY grandparents, on the other hand, were just too cute


When my parents were visiting, they told me this story about my dad’s parents. I already knew that my paternal grandparents loved cooking. I think I have a picture I took in my childhood of them in the kitchen working on a meal together. Since they lived across the country from us and died when I was a teenager, I didn’t get to visit them very often, but somehow I still knew that their times in the kitchen together were the highlight of their days. In fact, they would even take pictures of their finished products on occasion.

So, it was easy for me to form a picture in my mind as my dad shared this story:

Read the rest of this entry

Bad words grandparents teach their grandchildren


I don’t know how many times my mother said to my father during their two-week visit, “Michael, language….” Fortunately, my children didn’t add any of his colorful choices to their own vocabulary. In truth, it was Grandma who did the most damage, teaching my sweet, innocent girls the dreaded “p” word.

Read the rest of this entry

WordPress help


Once upon a time wordpress gave me suggested tags and images while I was constructing a post. That was very helpful, particularly the images part. But some time ago, those handy options disappeared. I haven’t put a web photo in my posts for ages. I guess at some point I was thinking they would just magically appear again. I was wrong. Does anyone know how to make those come back? Please help. I’m totally not techy enough to figure this out on my own. Please take pity on me!

101 Tips for a Happier Marriage Book Review


NOTE: You can’t blame me for posting this, right? More funny to come, I promise. I can’t wait to tell you about my boss using my bathroom!

by Erika Marie

I recently received and read 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage: Simple Ways for Couples to Grow Closer to God and to Each Other by Jennifer Roback Morse and Betsy Kerekes.

I have to say that I am very impressed and 101 Tips may be one of the best books for Marriage I’ve read thus far because of its simple and practical wisdom for married couples. I think every married and engaged to be married couple should read this. This is why I’ve teamed up with co-author Betsy Kerekes to offer you a chance at a FREE copy of her book on my Simplemama blog! Head on over there after you are done reading the rest of the review and be sure to tell your friends (and their spouses) about it as well. Read the rest of this entry

The time I ate my kid’s popcorn, Part 2


When you last left us (weeks ago because I forgot I had this draft sitting here), I had been gorging on my daughter’s popcorn snack. Then my older daughter wanted some as well, and I graciously complied. This daughter even went so far as to suggest we save some popcorn for the next day so that the middle daughter, who was already on her way to bed, might enjoy some as well. What a thoughtful, generous child she is. I don’t know WHERE she gets it!

So Daughter #1, aged 8, helped herself to about a third of a bag, then curled up the end, and left it on the counter so her younger sister might partake anon. Then said daughter prepared herself for bed. In the meantime, feeling somewhat peckish, I sought out the lonely bag, opened it, and brought it back to the computer with me. When my oldest finished in the bathroom and came to claim her goodnight kiss, she immediately recognized the popcorn bag she thought she had safely stowed on the counter. Read the rest of this entry



Hey, gang. My apologies. This isn’t a funny post, but an uncharacteristically serious one. This conference is coming up in February. I’m going to be there, and I thought I’d reach out to the greater blog community to see if anyone else is interested. It’s a really important and worthy event to share the news about. If you or anyone you know would benefit from it, please spread the word. And if you want to come but are too shy to meet a fellow blogger you know, we don’t have to introduce ourselves. ;)

Here’s a press release about the event. I promise to return to your regularly scheduled programming soon! :)

January 23, 2014, San Marcos, CA—The “Healing the 21st Century” conference/retreat, to be held February 15, 2014, in Carlsbad, Calif., is a means for those negatively affected by divorce, contraception, abortion, donor conception, and the hook-up culture, to find the support and healing they need. Read the rest of this entry

Can we all say, “Awwwwhhh.”


I had one smallish container of chocolate pudding, so I gave the three girls each a spoon and told them to have at it. A half hour later I returned to the kitchen  to find the spoons in the sink and the container on the counter with a heaping tablespoon of pudding still in it. “Did they not like it that much?” I wondered. So I asked my oldest, who responded, Read the rest of this entry