The sensei asked his eager students, “What do we need to do when we kick?” The boys and girls, aged 6-9, repeated back the typical answers that Sensei has drilled into them: Focus your eyes, take small steps, kick as high as your stomach, and it’s not a race. Then one little boy in the back added confidently, “use your balls.” Sensei with a slight smile and a nod to the parents who were watching and listening said, Read the rest of this entry
The conversation at the lunch table today:
“T is for toot.”
“F is for fart.”
“P is for poop.” Read the rest of this entry
When my daughter was about four or five, visiting her grandmother, my mom was telling her about her family. My daughter was asking questions about my mother’s mom and dad. My mom told her that her mother was still alive, but her father, whom my daughter had never met, had died. A few minutes later MY father walked into the room and my daughter yelled, Read the rest of this entry
“Why aren’t you playing with your new Prince Philip doll?” I asked my seven-year-old.
“Because he’s grumpy,” she responded.
“Why is he grumpy?” Read the rest of this entry
Tonight my three-year-old son said to me, “Momma, you’re nice. Thank you for wiping my butt. Yeah, because I can’t reach my butt, and you help me. You’re so Read the rest of this entry
As promised a week ago, my five-year-old did indeed put on her kitten underwear today in honor of my birthday. “Mom, I’m wearing my kitty-cat underwear! Do you want to see?” Of course my answer was yes, and she proudly revealed her bottom. My seven-year-old, feeling a bit sheepish for having heartlessly chosen underwear with little forethought to my special day said, Read the rest of this entry
My son loved dinosaur eggs. He had pictures of them in his room, and knew everything there was to know about them. The only problem was, he thought this information applied to all animals.
He was talking on the phone with my mother-in-law, explaining, matter of factly, “Mom has a big egg in her tummy right now. Dad gave her a seed to Read the rest of this entry
Some time after we’d finished lunch and left the table, my two year-old-daughter burped. A moment later I noticed her chewing something. “What are you chewing?” I asked. She paused, then chewed reflectively for a bit longer before answering, Read the rest of this entry
My six-year-old son was out sick from school for five days. His first day back, as he got off the school bus, the driver called to him, “Hey, Philip, where have you been?” Philip flipped his hand and said, Read the rest of this entry
It was nearly Christmas. I, like half my town, was standing in line at the post office holding several large packages. My children were standing with me. My mind was preoccupied wondering how much longer I could hold my boxes without dropping them and wishing there was a table nearby. So when my son said, “Mom, that woman has a big butt!” I didn’t really hear him. The woman ahead of me showed irritation, and I heard the man behind me chuckle. Nevertheless, without thinking, I asked my son to repeat what he had said, but to do it louder.
“That woman has a big butt!” he said again, this time with feeling. The woman threw a scowl over her shoulder, and the man behind me laughed even harder. Then my daughter suddenly felt musical. Read the rest of this entry