I recently visited my daughter and four grandchildren, aged two to eight. When I left I went to each grandchild for a hug and kiss. When I got to the two-year-old I knelt down and hugged and kissed her. I rocked back on my heels as she gave me the royal wave of good-bye. How cute, I thought. Then she extended her little arm, Read the rest of this entry
Category Archives: Did MY child say that?!
The conversation that went down while I was in the shower
Seven-year-old, G: Mom, L [four-years-old] has the tape again, and she’s trying to hide the picture she’s making from you so you won’t see it and know she’s using the tape.
Me: Please take the tape away from her. She knows she’s not supposed to have it.
(Several minutes later) G: Mom, L took the tape again, even though I told her not to. And she told me not to tell you.
L from the other room: Don’t tell Mom!
G: When she tells me not to tell you, I will tell you. Read the rest of this entry
Uhh…Come again?
Dinner table conversation:
V, six-years-old, to C, four-years-old: “Say WHORE. Here me? WHORE.” Read the rest of this entry
I think I’ll take the stairs
My four-year-old and I were reading Carl Goes Shopping. When the mischievous dog and baby were left alone in the shopping mall (when is that ever okay?) they headed to the elevator to have adventures on another floor.
“Where are they going?” I asked my daughter.
“To the alligator,” she replied.
“That’s not an alligator,” I told her. “It’s called an elevator.”
She responded, “Well, Read the rest of this entry
I think he missed something in class that day.
“Have you and Dad ever had sex?” my 12-year-old son asked me in the car one day. I just about drove off the road. Read the rest of this entry
Pregnant or ham sandwich?
At the grocery store, my young son saw an obese woman and asked me, Read the rest of this entry
Awh, isn’t he a dear?
When my son was about 2 1/2, he became aware, from listening to his siblings or hearing things on TV, of what we call bad words, like “shut up”, “stupid,” and “jerk.” So one day when we were in the check out line at the grocery store, an elderly woman Read the rest of this entry
I’m guessing his father likes to fish?
As we were enjoying a nice family dinner of spaghetti one evening, my three-year-old broke into the conversation with a resounding, “What the hell?” and proceeded to pull an exceptionally long Read the rest of this entry
Oh dear. Um, well, here it is. Please don’t be offended.
My daughter was just learning to talk when we took her to the zoo. She was fascinated by the gorillas and pounded on her chest calling out “oooooh ooooh.” She learned to say “lilah” for “gorilla.”
Several days later we were walking through a parking lot, and my daughter, who was in my arms, began to shake and hold on to me for dear life, burying her face in my shoulder. Read the rest of this entry
What aisle are the muzzles on?
While shopping at the grocery store, my two-year-old pointed to the woman in front of us and loudly declared, “Mommy, that lady is FAT!”
Never have I skidded grocery cart wheels before, but it worked to get around the corner as quickly as possible! Sue, mother of 4

