In case you didn’t hear the insult, let me sing it to you.

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It was nearly Christmas. I, like half my town, was standing in line at the post office holding several large packages. My children were standing with me. My mind was preoccupied wondering how much longer I could hold my boxes without dropping them and wishing there was a table nearby. So when my son said, “Mom, that woman has a big butt!” I didn’t really hear him. The woman ahead of me showed irritation, and I heard the man behind me chuckle. Nevertheless, without thinking, I asked my son to repeat what he had said, but to do it louder.

“That woman has a big butt!” he said again, this time with feeling. The woman threw a scowl over her shoulder, and the man behind me laughed even harder. Then my daughter suddenly felt musical. Tired of standing in line, she began prancing around and flapping her arms, singing, “Big butt! Big butt!” My hands were full, and with no place to set the packages down, I couldn’t grab her. I could see steam coming from the woman’s ears, and I’m sure the man behind me had wet himself from laughter. Eventually, after semi-veiled threats, I was able to stop my daughter’s capering, but the damage had been done, many times over.

The post office line never moved so slow. -Jenny, mother of 6

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10 responses »

  1. This reminds me of the time my daughters were toddlers, we were in a packed isle in the grocery super store and I was more tired than my napless daughters. My oldest couldn’t say her “S”‘s yet so she substituted “F”‘s for them. I was bribbing them both with suckers so that they’d sit till we could get done… but i was ill prepared. I ran out of suckers and my daughter began tantruming (I swear I am a better mom than this sounds!) but she began whinning at a high pitch and yelling, “Mommy! Fucker Fucker Fucker!!! (Meaning I want a sucker of course – duh!) but yeah – I’d never said it in her life but here she was yelling it at the top of her lungs. I got done really fast from that point – let me tell you! :-) We all survive our kids – but barely – and WAY more humbly! HA

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